Mommy Wants Vodka

Dear Lady Who Will Begrudgingly Allow Me To Post Her Writings + Links To Her Websites On The Front Page Of My Blog:

Hi. My name is Becky. I write on a blog. It’s not, perhaps, a very good blog, but it’s mine and I (insert Full Metal Jacket Quote). Really, it’s mine whether or not I love it, so that’s a moot point.

I get how “making it” on the Internet (the quotation marks were intentional) is kinda tough. I’m sure you read somewhere that a good way to get your name out there is to guest post on other blogs. That’s probably true. Despite the tone of this particular post, I happen to like having guest posts on my blog.

Your begrudging email, the one that insinuated that you would be doing me a favor to allow you to post something on my thoroughly mediocre blog, well, you’ve mystified me. And not in a 3 Wolves Shirt kind of way.

I’ve spent an inordinate amount of time wondering:

1) Does this tactic work?

4dv) What happened to Val Kilmer’s face?

3) Who does this tactic work upon?

b) Why the hell would you want to post on my blog anyway?

76) Where are my pants?

I probably shouldn’t tell you how much time I’ve spent wondering about Val Kilmer’s face, but that, my non-friend, is neither here nor there.

All that remains is this, I suppose: when can I schedule your post?

xoxo,

Aunt Becky